As SIN REIGNED IN DEATH

Almost three years ago...

April 30, 06

All day long I’ve needed an outlet … I wanted to run – to get outside and get away from everything, just to let go and feel my feet pound on the pavement. Or I wanted to drink, to take a few shots and feel it burn down my throat… It’s as if I don’t feel anything, I’m not really alive … I want to feel close to something… I need someone else… to make me feel wanted... That is what I crave; to be controlled. I want to be thrown down and pleased, to let go of every inhabitation, and to enjoy myself fully…. I feel satisfied, in control, amused, and entertained with my own ability to have so much fun in any way I please. It fulfills a certain void in me… yet, I’m starting to discover that I’m not in control of every situation… these insignificant acts do not give me any control. I think I need to get up tomorrow morning, and go… I need to stop… And I need to remember… I need to… ?

“Do you not know… you are SLAVES to the one whom you obey… of SIN, which leads to DEATH…” (Romans 6:16)

Four months later, the Lord saved my soul.

“But thanks be to God, that you who were once SLAVES OF SIN… having been set free from SIN, have become SLAVES of righteousness... For just as you once presented your members as SLAVES to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as SLAVES to righteousness leading to sanctification” (Romans 6:17-19)

“For the wages of SIN is DEATH, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23).

Almost three years later I continue to be in awe of God's beautiful, irresistible grace!